Tiberius Xavier Houston IV

But you can call him Tex. As an eighth-generation Texan, you can be sure this good ol’ boy lives and breathes Texas, carrying nine smoked briskets and a flask of panhandle air at all times in case his travels lead beyond the borders of his one true love. It’s a big state and it takes a big man to represent her up proper, which is why Tex is always ready with a shot of tequila and a loud “yeehaw” for whenever the trails get rough. Whether it’s a 72 oz steak or a 2 ton bull, he never backs down from a challenge. Despite his tough exterior, he’s as peaceful as the Texas bluebonnets in springtime…unless you spill his Shiner Beer!

Amber Pennybacker

Amber’s online dating profile says she prefers a linebacker, but she’ll take a dime back, or really anything but Nickelback. She’s the Van Wilder of the University of Texas…a student who loves those longhorns so much she just can’t stand to leave (though she technically graduated back in 2005). Her UT claim to fame is that she’s a distant cousin of one Jessie Andrews–the first female student (and teacher!) at UT back in the 1880s. So you could say Longhorn pride is in her blood (along with a high percentage of alcohol from all the tailgating)! Amber spends her days on campus wearing ALL burnt orange and throwing out a Texas-sized ton of ‘Hook ‘Em, Horns’ pride!

Calvin Fornia

Legend has it Calvin’s mother was surfing off the coast of Malibu on the day of his birth. She laid down on her longboard in the middle of a 10-foot overhead barrel off and Baby Calvin was delivered by the tide and carried into shore by the white wash while the sharks and mermaids sang a welcoming Beach Boys tune. Much later, Calvin was carried to Austin in a similar fashion. Driven away from the Golden State by soaring real estate, expensive night clubs, and the types of people who go to expensive night clubs, Calvin packed up his surfboard and headed to Texas. His California dreamin’, good vibes attitude fit right in with the laid back, groovy atmosphere of Austin. Of course, he has accepted that most native Austinites would rather build the wall than welcome in more Californians to jack up their housing market and replace P. Terry’s burgers with the supposedly more delicious In ‘N Out. But Calvin is tougher than he looks behind that surfer boy exterior, and he’s determined to make the land of BBQ and live music his home.

The Wizard of AUS

Meagan can be found behind the curtain, masterminding the takeover of Austin with our wild and weird Twisted Texas Tours. Having perfected the art of answering a phone, jotting down brief messages, and typing during her stint as an undercover secretary in the Kremlin, Meagan holds the keys to your reservations and all of our future happiness. And yes, she will grant you a free wish, as long as it’s for a brain, a heart, or a quick transport back to Kansas.